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[00:00:01] Most valuable player, that’s the conversation we’re going to have here today.

[00:00:07] I believe you must become the most valuable player in your life, and before you jump off the bandwagon and go crazy, hear me out. The reason I say that is I don’t care how much your friends care about you, your mom, your dad, your spouse, your kids. Which one of them are going to spend 24 hours a day, seven days a week with you?

[00:00:35] Zero. None of them. I don’t care how much they care about you, why? Because they have a life that they have to live. It doesn’t mean they don’t care, but they have their life, they have to live.

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[00:00:48] So knowing that the only person that is going to be with you from the day you’re born to the day you die is who? “You.” So if you don’t learn to value that person, how could you ever expect anyone else, to value them? Does that make sense, you hear all the time people talking about the fact that you teach people how to treat you by how “you treat you.” See you have to love yourself first. I remember the football player, he said, “I love me some me.”

[00:01:28] And it was funny to hear, but as soon as he said and I said, but that’s real.

[00:01:33] And the world makes it sound like that’s a bad thing. No, that’s a good thing. You need to “love you some you” because then I’m not hungry.

[00:01:46] In other words, I’m not looking for someone else to “Give me love. To show me love. To know I’m loved.” You follow? In other words, again, I don’t need someone to “Give me love. Show me love. To know I’m loved,” when I love me first.

[00:02:07] But not only that, the more you love yourself, the easier it is to give to others. Because, again, like I just said, you’re not hungry. You’re not out there looking. You’re not out there searching. Do you know how well your life and your relationships would work when you’re not sitting there looking for other people to make you feel significant, to make you feel important? Unfortunately, that’s the reason a lot of people get in relationships because they don’t feel important, they don’t feel valuable. And so they need that person to make them feel that way. And when they don’t. All of a sudden, it’s me, I’m a bad person, I’m not lovable. No, this ain’t got nothing to do with all these other people. This is about how you feel about you. You have to be able to look in the mirror no matter what physical, what, anything. There’s a song called “Naked” where she was basically saying. If I if I’m totally stripped down and she’s not just talking about body wise, but just “me,” accepting “me,” which you guys know, I say that’s two keys to a relationship. One, accept people as they are. Which our society wants to say that’s unconditioned versus conditional. I don’t believe in conditional love. Either, You accept people as they are, they don’t or you don’t. If you don’t accept them as they are, then you don’t love them.

[00:03:32] I didn’t say I agree. I said accept them as they are.

[00:03:37] Whether I agree or not is a whole different conversation. That’s going to determine whether we spend time together or not. But then the second element is communication. So you have to be able to do the first one. And so guess what? If that’s true, then the first key, if I’m saying it’s unconditional love, is you’ve got to have for yourself.

[00:03:56] You got to be able to say no matter what.

[00:04:01] Now, that doesn’t mean I’m not going to look and say, you know what, oh, man, I went up to stairs today.

[00:04:07] I was out of breath. That’s not good. That’s not looking in the mirror. Go, I hate you.

Are you tired of living a life in quiet desperation? Get Relationship Success Handbook as a FREE download. Creating a shift in how you feel about you and your relationships.

[00:04:14] Look at you. You got a freckle here. You got a spot there. You got a bump on your head. You got, you know, your eyes not right. You’re wearing glasses.

[00:04:21] It’s none of that. That’s not the conversation. You’re saying I’m out of breath, which means that’s not good for my health. So I need to go and I need to get in better condition for that reason, aside from that, love you. Even if you look at your size and go, man, I need to get thinner. Well, why?

[00:04:44] One of the things I try to share is if we get out of the comparing business. Relationships would blossom. What do I mean, if you weren’t looking at your partner and comparing your partners to someone else, it would eliminate most of you guys conflicts.

[00:05:02] Think about it, it would keep people from running outside their house talking about they trying to find some happiness and joy somewhere else. No, because I would realize I can figure these things out in my own house. And the reason it’s so important, how you feel about yourself is because it will reflect how you treat other people.

[00:05:25] We’ve heard the saying “hurt people, hurt people.”

[00:05:29] Right, because that’s how they feel about themselves, they’re in pain, so that’s all they know how to inflict on others is pain. It’s an example I use of a parent.

[00:05:42] If you’re angry. Then you go to talk to your kid about something, you’re taking an angry parent to that kid. How is this serving that kid? It’s not the best, best position to be in for the kid or the parent. You have to take some time to yourself, get you together, and that way you come with your mind, right? And then go have a conversation with yourself. I mean, with your kid, and then you guys could get the best result because you’re coming in level headed.

[00:06:15] If you guys really grasp what I’m saying here, that’s why it’s so, it’s back to what I keep teaching and what I keep saying is about get rid of your problems, not your partner, because it all keeps coming back to the same thing.

[00:06:27] One exercise, I tell people to do is, if you know your person that you just left work, you’re stressed out, you’re not you know, you’re not able to give your all at this moment. Don’t go straight home.

[00:06:40] Stop at the park, down the street, just park down the street, you know, the parking lot at work, whatever you got to do on the way there, stop, get you some water, soda, whatever your your things are.

[00:06:57] But whatever you do, the thing is calm yourself down. Get your mind right so that when you get home. Your family gets the best you possible, and that’s the reason this whole thing is about, you have to be the most valuable because however you’re feeling. That’s who I present to the world. So if I’m angry, I’m presenting an angry person, if I’m frustrated because I’m presenting a frustrated person. I’m sad, I’m happy, whatever, that’s what I present to the world. So my thing is, when you realize that and say, I want to be the best me possible. Then that’s who I’m going to present to the world the best me possible, but I have to learn to value me first before I can work on getting the best me, because if I think everybody else is more important than all my energy is, is forced on everyone else, everyone else.

[00:07:56] And then that’s when people get to the point where they’re like, I’m just drained because I’m all because the world keeps teaches that it’s better to give than receive. No, no, no, no, no. Quit misinterpreting it. It’s better to be on the giving side than having to receive. Now, there’s nothing wrong, you have to be in a position to be able to give. I had a gentleman I probably shouldn’t share this, but he was a pastor and he sent me a for his congregation and he’s got a congregation, he’s trying to get going or whatever, but he sent me a thing. And in it he sends me the quote about, “As you know, it’s better to give then to receive.” I was offended. Now, I know some of you go, why you don’t try to guilt me into giving. That’s not what it’s saying it’s better to give and receive, and then you’re going to come and use that against me and say, you know what, but you’ve got your hand out. Talking about it’s better to give than to receive. You can’t come to me with your hand out saying, you know it’s better.

[00:09:01] No, this is self-serving. That’s why your hand is out. You’re trying to get you’re trying to receive and trying to guilt me into giving to you.

[00:09:11] I need to be in a position.

Are you tired of living a life in quiet desperation? Get Relationship Success Handbook as a FREE download. Creating a shift in how you feel about you and your relationships.

[00:09:14] To Give. That’s why you want to be in a position of abundance, because when I’m abundance in abundance, however you define it, but the more abundance you have in all areas, including “loving you some you.” When you have an abundance of that and overflow, your cup is runneth over, as they say.

[00:09:33] Then it’s easy for me to give to others. You follow because I’m full.

[00:09:40] And like I said, if you’re looking at a cup of coffee as an illustration, the cup is flowing over me and I need to give somebody some I need to share this because it keeps more and more coffee is still coming out of my cup and it won’t stop because that’s just the way my cup runneth over. And so now I’m the guy who who needs some coffee.

[00:09:58] You follow me so it’s better to be in the position of giving than having to receive. But when you give to people and you’re giving from your heart, the pleasure you will receive is incredible when you’re doing it from your heart. Definitely not giving to someone who’s tried to make you feel guilty, because then even if you do give it to them, you frustrated the whole time you gave them that.

[00:10:29] You don’t even believe in the cause. I don’t.

[00:10:32] You know, just I mean, all they want is they want me to give give. You see, your whole demeanor changes from someone who’s coming in and talking about,

[00:10:42] You know it better to give and receive with their handout. No. Get in a position to be able to give, because some people misinterpret that and that’s all they do, is got their hand out and saying, well, you know, that’s that’s that’s what it’s all about. No, it’s not, because you can’t help anybody if your hands is out.

[00:11:03] You follow me, you’re you’re not in a position to do for anyone because all you’re doing is trying to receive because you don’t have nothing to give.

[00:11:14] You follow me. That’s why it’s better to give than to receive, because receiving means I got my hands open.

[00:11:23] Because I can’t I’ll have nothing to give. So. So you want to be on this side to give it doesn’t make sense, but anyway, so that holds true in your relationships also, and especially that one with yourself, you got to be so in love with that person, it’s an overflow. Then it becomes very easy for me to give love and to show love and to be love for other people because my cup is runneth over. And as you guys know, “It ain’t right. It ain’t wrong. It’s my opinion. Make sure you understand, you are the most valuable, get you together, because that’s the person again you present to your family and as you guys know if you’re not having fun you should be doing something else

[00:12:08] For those of you who um we talk to on Relationship Monday, oh, that’s Relationship Thursday. Got the days already messed up, but Self-Love Monday, we’ll see you on Monday and then those of you on Relationship Thursday, of course, we look forward to talking to you on Thursday. And again, whatever you’re doing make sure you enjoy this journey and I’ll talk to you next week. Take care. Bye Bye